Gisei
by Tsunade's Apprentice
Summary: A little, introspective oneshot focused Kushina and her feelings about being a Jinjuriki. Also featuring everyones favourite blonde Hokage. Not really any specific time frame, just some point during their early teenage years. One instance of swearing.


A little oneshot that wouldn't leave me alone. I was trying to work on my Christmas fic but ended up finishing this instead. :$

A big thank you Nako13yeh and Kittylynz for their invaluable feedback, I owe you both so much! Please, anybody, if you notice any typos or errors in here, let me know. Constructive critisism is welcome too :D

**I don't own Naruto** although I did ask for it for Christmas... So Disappointed...

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><p><strong>Ginsei<strong>

Despite the bustle of the nearby playground and the happy chirping of birds, Uzumaki Mito's grave was quiet and peaceful in it's shady corner of the Shinobi cemetery. The grave itself was barely more than five years old but was surrounded by many newer memorial stones, each a silent and permanent testament to the war raging outside the village walls, making this stone seem ancient in comparison.

Kushina knew that nobody came here any more except for herself and, increasingly rarely, Tsunade-hime. Nobody else remembered what this brave, strong woman had once given for the village of the man she loved, nor the hardships that had come as a result of that decision. In fact, Kushina was fairly certain if she were to ask random passers-by, whether they be civilian, Jounin or ANBU, if they knew of one Uzumaki Mito, or even if they knew the name of Shodaime-sama's wife, the very same woman who helped him win his legendary battle against Madara, that they wouldn't know and, in most cases, wouldn't care about their lack of knowledge regarding the matter.

As a result, Kushina once again sat in front of the grave of her distant relative, her predecessor as Konoha's Jinjuriki, tearing handfuls out of the already shortened grass. This was a routine she had, forced herself to have. A couple of times a month, as far as missions would allow, the young red-head would sit at the grave, pulling at the grass and defiantly ignoring the looks she would get from other visitors to the cemetery. They might not remember Mito-sama, but she would. Because, really, if no one remembered the great Senju Mito, who would every remember the nobody, Uzumaki Kushina, when she was buried in the ground one day? No one. So, to make sure someone remembered, she was here.

Whenever she visited, Kushina's usually bright and cheerful disposition would give way to a sulky, sullen mood. Not because she didn't care for the woman she was visiting but because the only person who truly understood how she felt was gone and forgotten, six feet under the ground and Kushina couldn't help but think that one day, she'd be in Mito's place, attempting to soothe the fears and worries of a young child when they were told that they would soon become host to the Kyuubi as she herself ages and dies.

She'd already taken Mito-sama's place in more ways than one. In the first weeks after her arrival in the Hidden Leaf Village, Kushina had been unable to understand the looks being thrown at the older Uzumaki. She knew how beloved the Shodaime Hokage and his family were and yet Mito-sama seemed not to be included in that despite the fact that she was one of the nicest people Kushina had met in her short life. Now, six years on, Kunshina felt that she was far too familiar with those looks. She could have been anyone, heir to the Uchiha or Hyuuga name or Sandaime himself, but the fact that she was the Jinjuriki would drown out everything else, leaving nothing but the same hate tinged fear and mistrust that Mito-sama had dealt with every day. How could _she_ of all people allow herself to forget that brave old woman and all the sacrifices she had made for this village that had hated her so?

As she watched the torn blades of grass drop to the ground from fingers stained with green, Kushina heard steps approaching behind her. They were very close and almost entirely silent, would have been silent if not for the fact that the walker was making their presence known. Pulling up another handful of grass as the too familiar presence reached her side and sat down to mimic her cross-legged vigil of the quiet grave, Kushina ignored the newcomer although she couldn't quite stop herself catching a glimpse of that shockingly bright, blonde hair out the corner of her eye.

Kushina knew she shouldn't ignore him, shouldn't begrudge him finally getting curious about why she was there. This was, after all, Namikaze Minato, the one-time Flake whom she had now come to see as her own definition of perfection. Not just her own it seemed, this boy could do no wrong in the eyes of the village. The thought made her scoff silently to herself. No one was perfect, she merely hadn't found his faults yet. And wasn't that irony for you? The newly dubbed Yellow Flash, the man (_boy_, she corrected herself) every one was expecting to finally turn the tide of this war, the youngest Jounin ever at the mere age of fourteen and heart-throb of just about every girl in the village, was somehow her, yes _her_, boyfriend. She wasn't exactly popular in the village, being the Kyuubi (_Jinjuriki_) and the natural loud mouth that she was. The fact that she was a foreigner didn't help matters much and, as her peers saw it, stealing Minato away from everyone else had simply been the icing on the cake. All in all she had to admit that she had few friends and even relations on her own team were often strained.

Yet, despite that Minato had always been kind, even in the academy when she had mocked him for being 'a girly flake'. When she'd been kidnapped by Kumogakure, it had been _him_ that had been the only one who recognised the trail she'd left and rescued her. Since then they'd been friends and, eventually more. She wasn't sure why he stuck it out because even she knew how much hassle he got from the girls that had been in their class for dating 'that violent tom-boy' and was constantly being told how much better he could do. They weren't wrong. Kushina herself thought the same.

If he stuck around, he could never have a life with her. The council controlled every aspect of her life and she knew for certain that they'd never let her marry or have children or do any of the normal things people do in their lives. Mito-sama had been able to do all those things but that was only because the man she married was Senju Hashirama, not someone anyone would happily disagree with. If she was ever going to marry, it would have to be to someone high ranking enough to dissuade the council from stopping her and that was unlikely to happen as the only person with that kind of authority was the Hokage and she was _not_marrying Orochimaru.

As for Minato, she knew that one day he would want a family of his own. He was just that type. He was kind and caring and unfailingly patient. He had that smile that could brighten the sky and he was the most fiercely loyal person she knew. How could she carry on with him, knowing that she'd never be able to give him those things that she knew he would eventually want and, more importantly, that he deserved.

No matter how many times she tried to tell him this, she couldn't seem to change his mind and day after day, month after month, he always seemed to come back to her at the end of his missions.

Silently, she had to admit that she was glad he did.

Sitting here now, the read-head was surprised he'd waited as long as he had to come here. She knew full well that he'd known for months where she would disappear off to for hours at a time every few weeks and the way it would affect her mood each time afterwards. He also knew, although Kami-only knew how, that she was the Jinjuriki.

That was another interesting fact about him, another facet of his perfection. Without her ever saying a word, without anyone at all seemingly telling him anything, he'd always seemed to know that she _wasn't_ the Kyuubi, merely that she contained it and that small observation was one that seemed beyond most of the adults in the village, regardless of their apparent experience or intelligence.

"Do you miss her?"

The words were unexpected although Kushina wasn't sure why. He was and always had been good at reading her. His voice was as quiet and unassuming as always, gentle enough to threaten to break through her sullen bitterness that only ever overcame her here.

Did she miss Mito? The older woman hadn't been a big part of her life but she had certainly played a significant part in who Kushina had become, even if only through her death and the responsibility passed onto the then eight-year old. Before her death, Mito had always been kind, always offered her a shoulder to cry on and words of comfort when the reality of what the young child was faced with became too much for her. Nor had it hadn't been Mito's fault that Kushina had been chosen. Still, in her bitterest moments, Kushina couldn't help but hate the older woman for dieing and leaving this burden to her. And wasn't all of that a mouthful?

Shrugging Kushina kept her focus on her handful of grass, knowing that if she looked up, those beautiful blue eyes would be watching her curiously. He'd never push her for information, he'd simply wait her out. She'd learnt early on that despite his affinity for speed, he was likely the most patient person she would ever meet.

"Why are you here?" She asked instead of answering, accusation for some as yet unknown misdemeanour clear in her voice.

Asking like that wasn't fair and she knew it but the question was out there now and she wanted an answer. He was her boyfriend by some miracle and, although she would never admit it out loud, she loved him. But if the only reason he was here was because he pitied her then she was going to set him straight on that count.

The response she got surprised her. Rather than the answer she'd expected, he made her an offer instead.

"Do you want me to leave?" Just like him. Why couldn't he be like everyone else? Someone she could be angry with like she wanted rather than this person who cared so much it made her heart ache?

Glaring at him out the corner of her eye, she felt all her anger begin to dissipate, leaving behind a tired emptiness that really wasn't an improvement.

"... No..."

Looking back at the grave, Kushina contemplated the writing there. The name on the stone was so short, the writing so precise and the depths of the grooves no where near deep enough to put enough emphasis on the sacrifices this woman had made for this village that wasn't hers. This was the same fate that awaited Kushina. She would be destined to live the rest of her life as the prized and feared Jinjuriki, another of the precious possessions of the Fire country and this Hidden Village that she called home for the simple reason that she had no where else.

But even if she did, would she want to leave? The village itself didn't mean all that much to her and neither did the villagers...

No. She couldn't leave. If only for his sake. The blonde haired bane of her existence. The boy who'd saved her in more ways than she could ever put into words while simultaneously worming his way under her skin and making her question why she was ever as angry and defensive as she always was in the first place. She could never heave him and maybe she did owe it to him to at least try and put some of it into words for him to understand.

"When... When they told me... Why I was here..." She swallowed. Aside from Mito-sama, she had never let anyone know of her feelings about becoming Jinjuriki to the most powerful of all the Bijuu because, until _him,_she hadn't thought that there would be anyone else who would understand. "...Why I'd been _sent_ here. I was _scared_... So scared... They wanted to put this _thing_ in me, this thing that everyone's heard of and everyone's so terrified of and if it was really that terrible how on earth could they put it in _me,_an eight year old who didn't know anything about anything? I couldn't understand it." Pulling her knees up, Kushina wrapped her arms tightly around them, taking a few deep breaths to try and calm herself. "Why a child who didn't have a chance of fighting this monster? But I didn't have a say in it so every day I prayed and prayed that Mito-sama would stay healthy just one more day and then one more after that, that they'd never put that demon inside of me.

"For a few weeks, a few months even, it was all ok, my luck held out. And then, one day...

"All of a sudden the whole world changed. Everyone treated me differently and nothing seemed right any more. At first they were worried the seal would break and I was always under observation. Of course, this place is full of shinobi and people began to notice. Everybody knew about Mito-sama having been the Kyuubi Jinjuriki and everyone knew that someone must have taken her place. It wasn't much of a challenge for people to put two and two together.

"...People started avoiding me and telling their children to do the same. Everywhere I went I got dirty looks although _I_ hadn't done anything! Even the academy teachers started treating me differently. I was all alone in this new country with this awful thing inside of me and nobody seemed to care how terrifying it all was...

"Minato..." She looked over to him fully, the first time doing so since his arrival almost half an hour earlier. "Thank you for being you, for being there. I'm sorry I was such a bitch back then, I couldn't understand why one person would treat me differently to the way everyone else did... You deserved better than that."

Flashing her a grin, the blonde teenager shrugged, "It's alright, It doesn't really matter any more, does it?" And she knew he meant it.

"Thank you..." Taking his hand she let out a sigh, her eyes fixed once again on the grave.

"Sometimes I feel like one of those unwanted possessions every one has. You know the ones, the one you don't know what it's for any more or what to do with it but you know it's important and you can't get rid of it although you don't really want it any more.

"Like they key to some hideous old clock you inherited from someone you respected and cared for. It doesn't work any more and you've got other clocks that work better and so you just leave it there and forget about it. You don't notice it any more except when you find they key for it and then you don't know what to do with that key but you can't get rid of it and so it gets shoved to the back of that knick-knacks draw to keep it safe but you know that you'll just forget it all over again...

"That's all we Jinjuriki are."

"I know how hard it's been for you," Minato's voice was quiet, "all this time, but you're wrong. Maybe, rather than being something whose purpose has been forgotten, maybe it's just that nobody's found the right way if using it. What you- and Uzumaki-sama- have done, have given up... It's more than anyone has any right to ask but without it, we could never have become a stable enough country to hold our own in this war. So many more lives would have been lost...

"Maybe the people here _can_ learn to see you differently, to see the sacrifices you've made for them and this country.

"...Maybe they can see what I see..."

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><p>Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! All the best to you and thank you for reading my fic!<p> 


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